Old friends…

As many of you know, I live in the town in which I grew up. A lovely city nestled along the shores of Lake Michigan and Lake Macatawa, where everything looks beautiful.

Looks can be deceiving though, and pretty outside is not always pretty inside.

I ran into an old friend the other day, one I had not seen for years – in fact, I had not seen her for over a decade, which sounds incredibly long when you consider that Holland is not a large city.

This friend and I were in a Bible Study together and when I filed for divorce, the group dropped me like a hot potato. It was a very painful but excellent life lesson for me; people will not always make the choices you think they will.

I was at BN stopping to get a book and spend a few minutes browsing with a cup of hot tea, I turned, and there she was. I am not sure who was more surprised, her or I and watching her face as she recognized me was very interesting. What happened next was even more interesting, I expected her to be polite, say hello, and move on. However, what transpired was an interesting experience and one I thought I might share with you all.

After a 10 plus year void, there was a bit of catching up to do, as you might expect and after the pleasantries of catching up on each others children, imagine my surprise in finding out that she and her husband were divorced. This saddened me greatly; they always appeared a most solid, unified, and loving couple. But, when she went on to talk about loosing her support system, the very same friends, of whom she was one of, who did this to me a decade before, and all of a sudden it was as if a light came on for her. We both began to cry, no uncontrollable sobbing, but tears that escape unwillingly from your eyes; mine for the ache that I knew was filling her heart at the loss of a husband of 35 years and friends that sadly have not changed in a decade. We have walked the same path, it seems.

After sharing a truly wonderful conversation, I am happy to inform you that we exchanged phone numbers and have arranged to meet for coffee next week.

The one thing I have learned in life is not to hold grudges and that things happen for a reason. It is nice that our paths have crossed again; I hope that we each bring joy to the other’s journey.


14 thoughts on “Old friends…

  1. It’s funny how the circle of life continues on in our lives especially when we least expect it. I’m happy you two have found each other after so much time. Have a great time at coffee!

  2. It’s the unexpected that makes life interesting. I agree – life is too short to hold grudges and you miss out on so much if you do.

  3. Good for you! I think a lot of times people don’t really know what to do, so they do nothing. I know what it’s like to be dumped like that – it’s so painful. Good for you for allowing this person back into your life.

  4. What a spiffy little aside to an otherwise “routine day”, Kat. You just never know what Life is going to thrust in your path, do you?

    We’re of the same mind, Kat. I, too (I think you know), believe there is a reason for everything. (More fodder for the not-so-crazy theory we may have once been joined at the hip in an earlier time.) There is a reason for hurt and hate, for the unexpected, for chance meetings … as is witness to your having been “bumped into” this very day. Oft times, the causes of which lead to tests of character. Next week looks like there are two test coming, no?

    I look forward to Chapter Three of this little saga, the first two chapters (Chapter One: ”My Life As A Hot Potato”, Chapter Two: ”Turnabout Can Be Fair Play Depending On Which Cards You Decide To Play”) having been briefly detailed above.

    Kat: It is with great anticipation I will be waiting …..

    ………………………………………. Ever-Enthralled Rupe

  5. it’s good that you didn’t hold a grudge!! that sort of thing can eat you alive!! by the way…i’m in michigan. i’ve been to holland a couple of times…but not in years!!

  6. First of all, what a great glimpse into the quality of your character that you did not bat an eyelash at picking up the relationship… good for you!

    Contrary to popular belief, people do change and people do grow. Being able to accept this is one of the significant issues facing the world today and the more examples like this that we have the better!

  7. The branches of the tree of life are many and varied. Some may die and fall to the ground – new growth will come and strive in the struggle to reach for the sky.
    Why the need for the pain along the way, why do we not learn our lessons as we go and why as Husbands and Wives must we punish ourselves? That is my concern as it seems so unnecessary.

  8. This is so awesome. My father taught me to never burn bridges. I’ve tried to follow that advice. Holding a grudge requires so much energy.
    Congratulations on your reconnection. It’s perfect timing for the holidays.

  9. Too bad you didn’t already know she was divorced, you could have told her to fuck off, and saved yourself some time, not to mention saline. Oh wait, you don’t hold grudges, nevermind then.

  10. Good for you!

    I myself find it hard to hold a grudge, so I am always surprised when I run into someone who is holding one. I am glad to see you will not be one of those someones.

    Keep us updated, let us know if she follows through!


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